“I’m going fishing” (Jn 21:3) - 3rd Sunday of Easter

 

Sometimes ‘doing Lectio’ can be very engaging from an imaginative perspective … which can lead to great depth, and very honest conversation with the Lord.

The beginning of the Gospel caught my imagination in this Sunday's Gospel.  It is interesting that St John named five of the seven who were with Peter by the lake of Tiberias, when he got up and said he was going fishing.  Who were the (unnamed) ‘two others’?  And what if I put myself in amongst them as one of the two?  What might the conversation have been?  If I had had the chance to ask a question or to direct the conversation, what would I have said?

You see, a little flight of the imagination, but what it led to was quite absorbing, and instructive … and challenging, as almost all Lectio is.

Here were seven men, who had gone about with Jesus, listened to His teaching and been attracted by the truth He taught; captivated by the hope He was holding out to them of what it meant really to be human and even the fact that they were sons of the Father and destined for an eternity of communion with God in heaven.

And yet, at that moment in time when Jesus most needed the support of their faith in Him, Peter had denied Him three times … but he was not the only one to do so … Jesus had foretold that they would all fall away (Mt 26:31), and indeed they did – spectacularly, if we are to follow Mark’s account (Mk 14:52). 

Maybe, then, they were gathered together, all of them understanding Peter’s sense of having let Jesus down, because they were all equally guilty of having deserted Him to save themselves. 

Jesus hade already manifested Himself to them on two previous occasions, according to St John, yet here they now were, seemingly aimless and waiting; maybe confused?  not quite understanding what all the recent events meant for them?  what were they supposed to do next?  How were they to proclaim and to preach the Gospel and ask people to repent and believe in Jesus, when they had so badly failed Him?  How could their preaching be authentic and true, when they had for a moment turned from it?

A question I thought I might ask, would be something along this train of thought:

“How do you know if you love Jesus, if it is so easy to betray Him?”

What form might the conversation have taken? 

Peter must certainly have felt it: he had been so vehement in asserting the strength of his commitment to Jesus that he said he would go even to death with Him (Lk 22:33).  “And so said all the disciples” (Mt 26:35).

This is the year of mercy, and it seemed that on asking such a question, the response would be one of mutual upbuilding on one level – seeking to encourage one another that their joy at His resurrection now, and their sorrow for having failed Him, must mean something.  Though they had shown themselves that their love had been rather fickle, still it wasn’t lacking; and their desire to be faithful now must count for something too.  The fact that He had shown Himself to them must restore their hope, and give them reason to believe that He would not forsake them, though they had forsaken Him.

In their being together, I think, while they may not have been able to answer the question with conviction, at least they were together.  They could talk about Jesus; remember Him; and together try to work out what it all meant: His breathing the Holy Spirit upon them, giving them the power to forgive sin.  Their whole lives had been turned upside-down by Jesus, and they understood somehow that life could never be the same again; but how must they now live?  How could they recover from their betrayal?  What were they to do and how were they to live?

And in the ordinary simplicity of ‘going fishing,’ Jesus came to them again.  He was after all the only one who could reassure them that He did indeed believe in their love for Him and that they in turn must not doubt it.  Through His forgiveness, He set them free to love Him more faithfully, more deeply, more truly.  And through their acceptance of His mercy, their confidence and hope was restored, and they were enabled after all to lay down their lives for Him (cf Jn 13:37).

There may be a powerful message here for us; for we are not so perfect as to be certain of our unfailing fidelity to God.  Our very tendency to sin is a fair witness to this fact; and it is possible in a world where faith is not held to be a virtue, to lose hope and to allow our failures to dictate the strength (or lack thereof) of our commitment.  It’s easier to fall away and to give up; to stay lying in the dust (Ps 119:25) than to get back on your feet and risk falling again and again and again … …. and again.

But today’s Gospel seems to be one which tells of hope and seeks to strengthen us when we fall: as Jesus so often said, ‘Do not be afraid!’  So let us not be afraid, but embrace the mercy He offers to us at every moment; and let His mercy help us to deepen our faith in Him and in our love for Him, and let it increase in us, so that His light – the light of Christ may never be extinguished.

 

 

Feast of St Augustine - 28th August

“You have seduced me, Lord, and I have let myself be seduced;
you have overpowered me: you were the stronger.”

(Jer 20:7)

These words from the prophet Jeremiah which we heard this morning at Mass prompted me to reflect on St Augustine whose feast day is to-day but was not celebrated.

Both Jeremiah and Augustine wrote what are known as their ‘confessions’ – accounts which describe their inner struggles and suffering, their loneliness and yearning for God. Their anger, complaints and disappointments betray the heart of a lover. Here I will focus on Augustine.

In his Confessions Augustine gives us a very moving account of his search for God or perhaps more correctly God’s search for him! - which reaches a climax when he exclaims “too late have I loved you, O Beauty so ancient and so new, too late have I loved you.” (10:27)

From his earliest years Augustine had a very sensitive heart, with a great capacity for love but yet was prevented from recognising and accepting God as his true and ultimate joy because as he explains - although “he loved the happy life” and sought after truth he “feared to find it in God’s abode and so fled from it even as he sought it.” (cf 6:11). As Francis Thompson puts it “he feared lest having Him he must have naught beside.” (The Hound of Heaven).

God is a jealous lover and He is not satisfied till we surrender our inmost heart to Him. He is also a patient lover who knows how to wait while at the same time being a persistent lover who does not give up on us! Augustine describes the many ways in which God was secretly at work trying to detach his heart from earthly attractions. He says “Little by little I was drawing closer to you although I did not know it”. During this time Augustine experienced God’s action as a “piercing of the very nerve within the wound of his soul, so that he might leave all things and be converted to God” (cf 6:6).

The turning point came when as he tells us “he entered into his inmost being with God as his helper.” (7:10). We have the key to Augustine’s spirituality when he says “I sought for a way of gaining strength sufficient for me to have joy in You but did not find it until I embraced the Mediator between God and man, the Man Christ Jesus.” (7:18). God’s search for humankind finds its ultimate expression in the humble self-emptying love of Jesus through whom we find our way back to the Father. Our love is but a response to God’s infinite love for us. Once we truly experience His love in the self-emptying of Jesus we are freed to let go of our attachments to sin and creatures and surrender ourselves in humility and obedience to Him who first loved us.

However although the “way of the Saviour had become pleasing” to Augustine he “was still bound by his love of women”. He wanted so much to surrender, yet he feared to let go. (cf 8: 11) until Continence says to him “Why do you stand on yourself and thus stand not at all? Cast yourself on Him. Have no fear. He will not draw back and let you fall. Cast yourself trustfully on him and He will receive you and He will heal you.” Thus he describes his conversion in terms of humility, letting go of his dependence on self and his attachments to creatures and surrendering himself totally to God’s mercy “bending his neck to the mild yoke and his shoulders to the light burden” of Jesus Christ (cf 9:1) and in that moment he exclaims “How sweet did it suddenly become ….things I once feared to lose it was now a joy to put away ….in their stead You entered in sweeter than any pleasure.”

We could imagine that all Augustine’s struggles ended here but in the next chapter he describes his continuing struggles with sin and selfishness - but his hope in the Saviour never wavers. In the face of his “many and great infirmities he will not despair because the Word was made flesh and dwelt among us” (10:43). He is content to be “but a little one but his Father lives forever and his Protector is sufficient for him.” (10:14). Here we have a picture of Augustine as humble and little in the hands of God his Father – secure in His love, detached from creatures and trusting utterly in the Father’s providence. Yet he is not aloof from his brothers and sisters, his fellow citizens and pilgrims; rather in God’s providence he wishes to be of service to them and share with them the love and mercy he has experienced in his own life (10:4).

Augustine could well identify with Jeremiah:

“You have seduced me, Lord, and I have let myself be seduced;
you have overpowered me: you were the stronger.”

(Jer 20:7)

May he intercede on our behalf that we may be truly converted to the Lord and server our sisters and brothers.

Second Sunday of Lent

Mass Readings

1st Reading: Gen 15:5 - 12;17 - 18
Psalm 26
2nd Reading: Phil 3:17 – 4:1
Gospel Lk 9:28 – 36

Reflection 1

In the letter to the Ephesians, St Paul prays for all of us ‘that we may be able to comprehend with all the saints, what is the breadth, the length, the height and depth of the mystery of Christ Jesus, the Beloved Son’ ……….

In today’s Gospel what can we learn, experience in faith and in love about the Person of Jesus? St Luke in his account of the Transfiguration has a telling phrase ‘as He (Jesus) prayed ….the aspect of His face was changed and His clothing became brilliant as lightning.’ This is the one moment in His life that Jesus allowed His Divinity to show in His Person. The joy and celebration of that moment are signified by the white and dazzling garments which we will see again after the Resurrection on the Risen Christ.

The mysteries of Jesus are ours as much as they are His because we are one with Him through Baptism. God the Father chose us in Christ, St. Paul tells us. Each time the Father looks at Christ He sees and loves us as He loves Christ. Faith alone can receive this message as love alone has given it. Our gratitude and response of love are unbounded.

How does Jesus grace us in this particular mystery? Three times only in the Gospels does the heavenly Father cause His voice to be heard by the world and what does He say? ‘This is my Son the chosen one. Listen to Him’. From this declaration we can discern the wonderful graces granted to us in this mystery.

Our faith, the mysterious participation in the knowledge that God has of Himself, is strengthened. Jesus is declared God’s Son. Divinity shines powerfully through the veil of His humanity. The eternal glory of Jesus, our Master is fully revealed to the apostles and to us.

If by our baptism, we are one with Christ, we become the adopted children of the Father by grace. But to be transformed, like unto the Son, we must be conformed by following Him who is our Way, our Truth, our Life per crucem ad lucem. Here below by grace we are God’s children, ’but it has not yet appeared what we shall be.’ St Paul tells us in the second reading of today’s Mass: ‘The Lord Jesus Christ will transfigure these wretched bodies of ours into copies of His own glorious body’.

Jesus, we thank you for giving us the hope of seeing your glory in our true homeland of heaven and of sharing for all eternity in the very life of the Trinity – Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Our hope is firm and anchored deep in our hearts because of You and what You have done for us, sinners.
Thank you

Reflection 2

Last week’s liturgy presented us with a picture of Jesus alone in the desert struggling with Satan and overcoming very subtle temptations.

Today’s liturgy invites us to join Jesus and the three apostles, Peter, John and James as they go up the mountain to pray. We can only guess how awesome this experience must have been for the apostles. All three synoptic Gospels recount the incident. St Luke (whose Gospel we follow this year) tells us that as Jesus prayed “the aspect of His face was changed and His clothing became brilliant as lightning” – revealing Who He really was – the Eternal Son of the Father, become man for us and our salvation.

Christian prayer has its source in the fact that we are ‘in Christ’ through Baptism and share in Jesus’ relationship with His Father – able to cry ‘Abba, Father’! When we pray we believe that we too are changed as Jesus was on the mountain - although now this happens in the darkness of faith, yet it is a reality.

According to Luke Moses and Elijah speak to Jesus about “His passing (His Exodus i.e. Passion) which He is to accomplish in Jerusalem” – after the Resurrection, in Chapter 24 of his Gospel, Luke will have Jesus tell the disciples on the road to Emmaus that the Law (symbolised by Moses) and the Prophets (symbolised by Elijah) had foretold that He should suffer and so enter into His glory. (Lk 24: 25ff).

Peter misses the point of what is happening – he is so caught up with the sight of Jesus’ glory that he pays no attention to the conversation of Moses and Elijah. Then the cloud (symbol of God’s Presence) comes and covers them in shadow and from the cloud they hear the Father’s voice: “This is my Son, the chosen One. Listen to Him!” We can learn a lot from this scene – are we too inclined to seek after ‘good experiences’ in prayer? and feel that we are wasting our time when we experience the darkness – which is part and parcel of most of our prayer? It was in the cloud that the voice of the Father was heard. So let us be encouraged to persevere in the darkness of faith and listen for the voice of the Father and the voice of Jesus who speaks to our hearts if we allow all the other noises to be silenced.

I asked myself what could this ‘voice’ be saying to me today? What could it be saying to all of us Christians in today’s world - surrounded as we are by so much suffering (caused by men and women as well as natural disasters), violence, war, hatred, betrayal, sexual immorality, hurt, resentment, revenge, broken hearts and broken bodies ……the list is endless and there seems to be no solution. As I reflected on all this pain and suffering, I remembered Jesus’ words on the Cross “Father, forgive them, they do not know what they are doing”.

How different our world would be if all of us could try to listen to these words of Jesus and act upon them – it would seem that many of us have forgotten that forgiveness and mercy are at the heart of the Christian Gospel. After all Jesus has told us that he came “to seek out and save those who were lost” (Lk 19:10).

St Catherine of Siena - Novena Day 2

The Eternal Father speaks to Catherine:

My Truth invited you to call out thus when He said: "Call and you will be answered; knock and it shall be opened to you; ask and it shall be given to you." So I am telling you what I want you to do. Never relax your desire to ask for My help. Never lower you voice in crying out to Me to be merciful to the world. Never stop knocking at the door of my Truth by following in His footsteps. Find your delight with Him on the cross by feeding on souls for the glory and praise of My Name, and with restless heart bewail the death of the human race which you see reduced to such misery.
Through this lamentation and crying out it is My Will to be merciful to the world. This is what I require of My servants and this will be a sign to Me that you love Me in truth.

Taken from Dialogue of St Catherine,(Chapter 107), Translated by Suzanne Noffke, Classics of Western Spirituality Series.

Dare to Believe

Then she knows the truth about me the eternal Father: that in love I have created her to give her eternal life. This is the truth, and I have revealed it to her in the blood of Christ crucified. Once the soul has come to know this, she loves it, and she shows her love by genuinely loving what I love and hating what I hate. …
… So the memory, all imperfection past, is filled … because it has remembered and held within itself my blessings.
… Understanding receives the light. Gazing into the memory it comes to know the truth, and shedding the blindness of selfish love it remains in the sunlight of Christ crucified in whom it knows both God and humanity. … Then the will, which follows understanding, united itself in a most perfect and burning love. And if anyone should ask me what this soul is, I would say: She is another me, made so by the union of love.

[Dialogue, ch.96]

These are words spoken by God, our eternal Father, to St Catherine of Siena, whose feastday occurs at the end of this month. She had an astounding love for the Lord, uncontainable, and it pours out in the words of the ‘Dialogue’. The words quoted above caught my attention, and then on re-reading them, caught my attention still more, and in these last few days, even hours, of Lent – they are quite powerful when you sit with them. St.Catherine’s ‘Dialogue’ is demanding that way, you can’t read too much at a time, because it contains so much.

St.Catherine was passionate about the Lord, and she was passionate about people – all of us, who were created in His image and likeness – and she longed for everyone to know how precious we are in our Father’s sight; how infinite is His love for us, and what dignity is ours as His children.

And we can come to know this too, if especially in these days – we allow ourselves to be open to the ‘possibility’ that even we – even you – are just that precious to God … no matter what. In times when it is so easy to feel that nothing is ‘going right’, when the point of any of our efforts is beyond us; no work, no hope, and our worth as people is lost – the words of our Father to Catherine are vital. Read them again, and let yourself be amazed at how amazing you are.

YOU ARE AMAZING

God’s words to Catherine are His words to you – if you let yourself come to Him, just as you are, and sit with Him, watch Him, and ask to be drawn to know Him a little bit better – what you will discover is that in every moment of your life, in your every breath – your Father is watching you with eyes that love you infinitely; with a love that does not judge you as you judge yourself; and with mercy that is deeper than anything you could grasp.

The Lord carried you, as a man carries his child, all along the road you travelled

Deut 1:31b